When you take an Ancestry DNA test, the results can be confusing. Seeing close matches you don’t recognize often leads to the assumption that there’s a mistake. This discovery can lead to difficult conversations with living parents who may be hesitant or ashamed to share the truth; if they’ve passed away, you’re left to solve the mystery on your own.

Don’t give up! Through classes, podcasts, and genealogy research, I’ve learned how to navigate these ‘unresolved connections.’ I use Ancestry Pro Tools, which—while an investment—is invaluable for seeing how matches connect to each other. This makes it much easier to separate your maternal and paternal lines, even when families are from the same small town.

Recently, I reached out again to my closest match, my cousin Todd. He is the son of my paternal uncle, but after a brief ‘thank you’ in October 2024, he went silent. Even after I explained our connection, he didn’t respond—though his son has since appeared as my newest match.

Yesterday, I sent Todd this message:

‘Hi Todd, I considered moving on, but a recent success story changed my mind. I just helped another match, Jerry, find his biological father after his mother took the secret to her grave. It made me think of you. Has your mom shared the truth about your father yet? I want you to know that your dad, Tio Guiso, was my favorite uncle. I miss him dearly and would love to tell you about the man he was. You share more DNA with me than any of my other cousins, and I’d love to help you research your roots for free. Give me a call at xxx-xxx-xxxx.’“

Until Next Time.

Lilly Resto Gunderman

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